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A Poetry Page Insights into my soul
(disclaimer) (certain pieces of poetry enclosed here i do not remember) (i don't remember if i wrote them... or if possibly they came from other sources... if anyone of these are copyright items... please let me know so i can remove them from my site) (although, most did come from my own mind...scary huh?) Shattered alone empty with friends but still alone afraid to love or be loved to care or be cared for fear of the hurt inevitable in a relationship unloved yet loved hurt and hurting others scared to be alone yet scared to be wanted by others alone by choice but empty not by choice in a shell a porcelain barrier hidden from life itself --------------------- you are near and yet so far away I feel the closeness there is a distance time stands still time flies by I want to hold you I want to run away your kisses are warm painfully so you say you love me but is it really true I say I love you yet I am unsure the world is a blur my objectives are clear I must say goodbye forever yet I will hold you forever --------------------- love is like the wind you can't see it or touch it but it's always there it can lift you up or bring you down and it's sure to turn your world around ------------------------ our firneship is as deep as any sea we know each other so thoroughly your eyes are like windows through which I can see the emotions flow every thought, triumph, disappointment is visible behind your eyes, there for me to see even though your face says happy I can see the sadness hidden behind your eyes in a way it's kind of funny for you and I are as different as can be though different as we are somehow we belong together like stars in the heavens and sand on the shore our friendship will always be forever and ever - eternally we know this though it's never been said for it's a thing untold, but still known ---------------------- confusion nervousness anxiety and fear pens tapping pencils scraping while papers are placed on desks quiet tense time for nothing but writing my hand with pen can not or will not move my mind blank thoughts pour in then rush away questions asked but answers unknown good marks bad marks no one knows at first ---------------------- when we met it seemed as if in you I have found the reason to live we talked till five and laughed and shared you promised to phone and did once ---------------------- a small shadow passed unnoticed through the stillness of the night, and from that small inanimate shadow a tear trickled and fel, absorbed by the blackness. Four faded flowers stood boldly in their parched sidewalk cracks thirsty, so very thirsty... Another tear escaped a saddened eye, and a flower died a baby cried, a phone rang, a tear fell, and a flower died. ---------------------- I write because I am confused and seek to understand I sing because I am alone and reach to take a hand I wonder because i'm curious and feel I should know why I hurt because i'm human and this is why I cry I laugh because i'm joyful and this seems right to do I love because you're special and pray you love me too I live because of all these things I find in every day they tell me just what life's about and I listen to what they say to laugh, to love, to live and sing oh, yes, even to cry these simple gifts of freedom I will treasure till I die ---------------------- gentle rain pattering down calm me with your lullaby song heal my wounds and erase my pain cleanse my world, oh, gentle rain softly fall on a melancholy day gentle rain, take my troubles away ----------------------- I was alone and bewildered before you came along you directed me in a positive way and you helped me learn right from wrong you taught me to like myself and you sorted out my mind even when I am upset or angry you have always been kind when my other friends turned their backs and looked down upon my ways you comforted and admired me and had kind words to say you've always been so loyal to me you're forever by my side when other people deserted me our friendship you've never denied the best friend a girl could have is who you'll always be for you've always been terrific you've loved and supported me thank you, friend, for everything your kindness and your care I am ever grateful for the friendship that we share ----------------------- writing is a special gift it's a love for words that gives you a lift it brightens your day if you can express with a pen all the feelings you hold within some write poems with a special flair that shows their love and sometimes despair others write books for which they are known they become famous or they stay unknown but it isn't the recognition that gives them the spirit to write it's the feeling from inside a kind of insight and then there are those that have a unique touch they write just a little but they say so much writing is a gift given to few don't ever give up or you won't be you ----------------------- if there ever were moments more precious if there ever were moments more true if there ever were moments more wonderful they're the moments I spend with you though deeply embedded, you revealed a strength that was always present within me you showed me a love from inside my heart I never knew I could see you've strengthened my life with your actions by showing you really do care now I know I can turn around and find that you'll be there all the places i've been in search of things that never could really be seen when all I had to do was look in your eyes you've shown me what love can mean ---------------------- when i'm upset I go for a walk I wish I had someone with whom to talk instead, I keep my feelings bottled inside can anyone see the emotions i'm trying to hide? if you look deep into my eyes my feelings cannot very well be disguised I need someone to guide me through all my feelings are strange and new I want someone to help me understand to guide me through and hold my hand I can't deal with my problems alone maybe we can talk together on the phone I just need a few minutes of your day for you to listen to what I have to say maybe if I say what's on my mind the answers will be easier to find will you please listen and help me learn I would do the same for you in return ---------------------- once I loved you sometimes I miss you always I'll care for you never will I forget you ---------------------- the glory of winter blanketed the land illuminating the mountain peaks - icy and grand the tranquility of winter brought peace to the life freezing, for the moment, the sorrow and strife the wonder of winter mesmerized the echoes of yesterday until the past and all its troubles seemed a million worlds away the joy of winter polished the slopes announcing new beginnings with fresh dreams and hope ---------------------- the skies roll by like a distant sea the approaching storm unsettles me far away, I hear the thunder, the absence of the rain makes me wonder the violent waves crash against the shore tranquility exist no more a tiny island in the churning sea locked inside, yet wanting to be free seeking shelter, the birds fly low only to find there's nowhere to go the storm breaks, the rain begins to fall the island is caught, feelings lost and small the symbolism here is plain to see you are the storm, the island is me yet the sun could shine once again if only you could be my friend ---------------------- I study but nothing sinks in I have my paper in front and my pen in my hand but nothing comes to mind butterflies form in my stomach so that all I hear is the fluttering of their delicate wings that block out the exam instructions "nervous?!" asks a friend "me, nervous? never!" I answer but inside I know the truth and I wish the ground would open and swallow me careless mistakes form on the page algebra, chemistry, physics, etc. confusion and depression and the final stages of panic set in ---------------------- for awhile the shell was gone I was able to be myself because the people around me said they were friends now I know different they are angry but they won't ask why they just talk behind my back now the walls have come back crashing into place with locks falling quickly into place it will be a long time before they break down ---------------------- in the walls are many doors be patient, search with diligence for one will open to your key and oh, the land beyond is very fair... ---------------------- one day we're like sisters the next day just friends then we're acquaintances and then it all ends I don't understand why she did this to me we were best friends from what I could see when I realized this I thought I would die she can't even manage to simply say "hi" she walks right by with her nose in the air I hear rumors about her but she just doesn't care one night she called and I asked her why I told her my feelings and began to cry she didn't answer but I wanted to know she said she'd call back that was so long ago so now I must face it I know that she's lost she once was loyal our friendship the cost i'll try to remember all the good times we had even though some of them make me so sad now i've recovered from the loss of my friend, but i've important advice I would like to lend I hope that you read this my friend, it's for you to have a good friend you must be one too ---------------------- let me think of you with a smile in my heart I want to remember the good times, not the bad when my tear-filled eyes take on the beauty of the stars i'll think of you for my first love is too special to remember with pain ---------------------- I heard a voice in my dream, a whisper from afar, I know you're waiting for me but I don't know who you are. for everyone there's someone, i've heard that line before, I don't know if I believe it but i'm just not sure. still, I heard that voice, that whisper from afar, why don't you show your face to me? please tell me who you are. ---------------------- I long to hold you in my arms, as warmest thoughts and memories of you linger on and on for ever, for I hold you dearly close to my heart. Your eyes behold me in my dreams for all I see to what you see. For what you see I see and we are one. I long to be close to you for your golden hair reminds me of a warm sun-shiny day on a sandy beach. Memories are all I have of you for now. Until we meet again, then we shall share these and many more beautiful and ever-lasting chances. I miss you dearly, I wish the day to come when we shall see each other again. The days linger on and I still think of you, for you are mine, and I yours. I shall leave you now with a kiss, until we meet again may the sun shine in your life. ---------------------- you can't be afraid of love, it's all around you. running away won't do any good. forget the past and the bad memoires it holds. think of the future and all the happiness it can unfold. it's the bad times that make you wonder why, it's the good times that bring you the reply, love can be the scariest thing, it can also be your unfulfilled dream. --------------------- Dear Diary you're the one who listens to all my thoughts always there to lend an ear when no one seems to care and I know when I grow up and move away i'll always keep you with me to look back on and smile or if I don't have anyone to listen to my silly dreams you'll always be there fourth drawer down, behind my wool sweater ---------------------- Not to Touch I close my eyes and there you are as sudden as day breaks and night falls I reach out to touch you you're not there, but only in my mind I can't have you there every moment to tel you how much I care about you or to put my arms around you and hold you tight at times I only wish for you to be there by my side for you to need me as I need you I want to be close to you and always have you but since I can't, i'll continue closing my eyes, finding you there as sudden as day breaks and night falls but not to touch. ---------------------- My Tattered Companion he has no fur he's all worn out I wish he could speak but he has no mouth his scrubby paws have been doctored a lot showing all the joy he's brought his orange eyes are wise looking like they've something to say his shell-shaped ears are small and fuzzy he's tiny and cute but sort of pudgy he comforts me when I am cold and cheers me when i'm sad he makes me less angry when i'm mad i'll love him forever and try to give him more care my ever-deserving Teddy Bear ----------------------- Sandbox Dreams sometimes I wish I could desert all my problems. worries fade away, burdens' weight lifted, responsibilities removed, and I am a child. a carefree little girl, playing in the sandbox, conflict resolved, prejudice nonexistent, no doubts, no fears, my only decision is what I shall build. with my sand castle completed I am content. innocence - my world, love - my expression, and laughter, my favorite friend. soon the castle crumbles, sand escapes carried away by the breeze. and with it my childhood. let me come back to the secure boundaries of my sandbox again...sometime ---------------------- I want to write you a poem that will tell you just how much you mean to me but the words wouldn't rhyme and it wouldn't touch you the way i'd want it to i'd like to make you understand with the sweep of a pen what need is and that I need you but the words would stop just when you needed them to go on I want to sing you a song that would make you cry inside yourself but you wouldn't listen because the wall you've built around yourself is so high it's almost impossible to climb i'd like to try ---------------------- from the beach its sandy walls rise its turrets reach up to touch the skies a tiny moat dissolves the keep its powers are strong, though only 2 inches deep tiny footprints embedded in the sand where once a child there did stand its grace and beauty a short time will last before the sea washes it into the past ---------------------- don't look back when you head for the door, cause if you do it'll hurt even more don't stop to explain don't tell me why if you're going to leave just tell me goodbye I love you, i'll miss you but I can make it alone I want you, I need you but i'll hold my own cause I can't tie you down you've got to be free and I can't make you love only one girl - just me so don't look back i'll tell you again just kiss me goodbye, darling if this is the end ---------------------- here's a solitary man cryin' hold me it's only because he's lonely but if the keeper of time runs slowly he won't be alive for long ----------------------- why do I love you and hate you confused and afraid happy and sad talking problems sharing love amongst bitterness letters and phone calls long distance solutions that aren't working sometimes too far away other times too close anger slamming doors yelling and swearing doors opening and closing in imaginary walls while I end once again alone. ---------------------- love pain saying too much and then not enough friendship building crumbling down caring and sharing with so much pain around us we touch then quickly move away afraid seeming too close but still not close enough how can I tell him that my feelings run deeper i'm unsure of how to say "I love you. Please don't turn away." unsure of love sure of the happiness he brings he makes me smile with a gentle touch or a kind word "how do you feel towards me" but I don't really want to hear does he love me? do I love him? it really matters not at all for he doesn't know I care ---------------------- love is an illusion created by people who are sheltered from real life love is not beautiful it is full of pain and deception hatred and love the division is a very fine line difficult to distinguish ---------------------- my name is not important but i'm sure you wouldn't care my world is falling in and no one seems aware my world is falling in I don't know what to do I just can't seem to win I don't know who to turn to everything is going wrong nothing goes my way reality seems gone I have to get away everything is building up in me i'm like a glass jar but I won't break if you touch me i'm really not that far i'll escape to my own world and leave you all behind i'll build a wall around me i'll be lost inside my dreams we never seem to talk anymore I sure do wish we could you just can't seem to open the door to my little world ---------------------- I am still fighting I am always fighting but for once I see that my life-long opponent has been myself fighting love and caring affection and feeling now what do I do? how does he feel about me how did he ever feel did he ever love me? I doubt it now the future is all I have the past is gone and the present seems out of control will I ever fall in love i'm scared again!! i'm out of control falling nothing to catch hold of the walls are bare on the outside hard on the inside they are soft I am inside the soft walls sheltered protected so very safe so very lonely no love I am protected from love by my padded cell locked in my thoughts safe from the past no control in the present my future is gone feelings are gone I am dead yet still alive unable to love or be loved dying inside alone and afraid forever safe too safe in my mind the padded cell lives on sheltering me from living and dying both!! ---------------------- with each puff of smoke from her cigarette she feels as though bits and pieces of her life are slowly floating away never again to be seen the cigarette in one hand and a drink in the other for her the circle is never-ending she cares for him but he doesn't see or doesn't wish to see a frightened girl fights a battle against herself causing her life to float away out of her grasp into a world that she knows too much about and is afraid to face ---------------------- I always thought affection was to be shunned another of Mother's Lessons of Life? maybe?! today I sat alone crying crying over love over caring always scared of yet still needing some physical contact a basic life-long need for most but just newly learned for me why me why these sudden revelations in my life about my life about myself I feel as though I am being tested by the world by everyone and I feel that I am failing terribly ---------------------- love is an illusion created to fight against reality ---------------------- with a single touch of your hand on my shoulder I feel as though you could somehow keep me safe from all the pain i'm scared we hold hands and then I pull away I can't face you my eyes can't meet yours expressive eyes saying too many of the things that I can't bring myself to say too many feelings jumbled and confused uncertain of how to react I want to care but i'm not sure how I need your help it's so difficult for me I need you to care about me you make me feel special somehow ---------------------- i'm not really sure what is happening since we talked I feel as though hope was renewed you made me see parts of myself parts that harboured my pain and now I feel as though they are being lifted away carried off and finally able to dissolve into the past where they belong I tried so hard to forget and now through remembering I can let them go hopefully forever sometimes I get scared but I don't feel so alone now I remember your voice and the calming effect that it had I know now that I can take risks and if I fall I will have the strength to stand again to make my life special for myself and through this through understanding myself and feeling my own worth others will be drawn to me and once again I will learn to love and even if I fail every experience will help me to become the best "me" I can be! ---------------------- he is so special to me we talk we kiss we touch but it is innocent so far I want him he wants me but i'm scared pain and fear still fresh in my mind haunting me he knows I talk he listens but is anything really said? talking it is special he wants me I want him he says he cares I am trapped unsure of how to proceed afraid to step forward and be noticed difficult together sometimes alone a lot depressed and happy emotions constantly changing up and down like a child's yo-yo love sharing I long for him to hold me care for me make me feel safe at least for now ----------------------- inside going crazy insanity love emotions caring hurting sharing talking afraid saying too much and not enough making love not yet maybe soon torn apart starting to mend helping each other love healing my emotions caring loving learning to trust such a new emotion ---------------------- fear anger hate emotions jumbled afraid to want to need to love scared to be alone afraid to be with others wanting to be loved but afraid to care too much hurt before not now though talking sharing caring love begins to flow when it ends I will not regret because I am learning to love again -------------------- why me easy question impossible answer so confused he cares even after all this love flows anger starts to leave emotions attack from all directions am I going crazy? hate directed towards myself flows out slowly learning to trust to love to care to share my life why me the silent victim forever silent? needing to talk no one to listen nightmares threaten from inside torn apart inside, never outside will the nightmare ever end? why me I love him it hurts not to be able to show how much --------------------- of course I hurt it always hurts when the truth catches me by surprise and makes me see the part of me I don't want to see but need to see and needed to be shown ---------------------- nothing hurts more than a wound that cuts through our illusions and makes us see the parts of ourselves we were unwilling to see before ---------------------- we tell most of our lies...to protect ourselves from a truth we may not be ready to accept ---------------------- trust is a living feeling it grows with a relationship it is fragile very easily broken and often irreparable ---------------------- to trust is to be vulnerable ---------------------- free and wild an uprooted flower dying yet released petals drifting off in the wind so strong so subtle too cruel to be true but the relief ecstatic leaves whirling to death... free. ---------------------- the porcelain walls for a prison-like safety in which I die, alone. ---------------------- image of a man set firmly in mind, looked up to, respected, admired, a perfect model, image rudely shattered, left disillusioned, empty, and sad. mistaken identity. ---------------------- silence is a pond of ice on a winter night silence is a swan swimming slowly silence is loneliness and white silence is the Golden Year Anniversary silence is a tree heavily laden with fruit silence is a piece of paper for anyone to write their thoughts thoughts are silence. ---------------------- where has the feeling gone? the caring? doesn't love exist anymore? what about passion? compassion? are they only words, seldom used? are they feared? we are guilty of the destruction of...what? love? hate? feeling? we are slowly growing numb will it ever stop? when do we start to hurt again? is feeling gone forever? I love you you love me we have our beginning stay the night and we can feel the future --------------------- alone falling off a cliff my friends watch as I lose my grip falling apart the seams rip but no one notices ---------------------- I feel haunted almost hunted outside myself inside myself he's here again watching waiting will he ever stop he came to me spoke to me now he's always there looking over my shoulder my protector my guardian for ever and a day he will never leave me there is no more need to fear he is my protector my guardian the ever-loving holder of my dreams at first I felt invaded now he is a part of me I know I can't let go he is my love he is my life the hurt came before it will come again it is forever it is my life he is mine I am his forever and a very long day. ---------------------- in my dreams I pictured a person who was intelligent, good-looking sensitive, talented creative, fun strong and wise who would completely overwhelm me with love... since dreams can be just wishful thinking I did not really expect to find one person who had all these outstanding qualities but then -- I met you and not only did you bring back my belief in dreams but you are even more wonderful than my dreams. ---------------------- what I wanted when I first met you was your smile. what I wanted later was your encouragement, your gentle caresses, your positive approach, your love. what I wanted, too, was your approval, your pride, your laughter, what I wanted all along... was you. --------------------- you are the only person in the world that was ever necessary to me ---------------------- hi...it's me here I am again sitting alone daydreaming about you... with dreams that leave a smile in my heart ---------------------- when we first met I held back so much afraid to show my deepest feelings as I got to know you better your gentleness and honesty encouraged me to open up and I started a trust in you that I never had with anyone else once I started to express my feelings I realized that this is the only way to havea relationship it is such a wonderful feeling to let myself be completely known to you thank you so much for showing me what two people can share together I look forward to spending many beautiful times with you. ---------------------- I was drawn to you in a special way the first time I saw you... and I liked the way you talked about everything; even the way you talked about me and made me talk about myself. you...asked me questions, and sometimes they embarrassed me; but I loved even the embarrassment, because of your spirit and the sweet understanding way you meant everything. I knew many people... but I liked you best of all.
in love what does it mean? two people holding hands people sharing, caring, feeling; not alone. --------------------- love what is it? it is happiness sadness caring and anger it causes guilt and makes us feel trapped upset confused it can also be wonderful and full of warmth my heart is empty it is a red circle on a piece of paper there is no love in my heart no emotion the doors close adn the hinges freeze and refuse to open pain and frustration tears fall in my heart inside never outside pain turns to anger friends disappear love is nonexistent now what is love it is nothing it is pain it is misused it can be beautiful though if it can learn to grow I learned too late where there is warmth there can also be cold ---------------------- just a short hello to express more than I could ever say I need to live but I keep getting trapped in my emotions the walls are freezing into place it's always cold I argue I cry I scarem inside why do I get hurt so easily I get hurt then I try to hurt him back he isn't really mine I wish he was we can never be together but we are together sometimes I laugh but inside I cry I try to be strong while I crumble and fall behind the barriers of my heart I need to love and be loved I need someone who cares and I need a hug and a kiss to say that I am loved and I have worth to others. ---------------------- I live in the shadows of the darkness surviving the best way I can listening to the cries of the night searching for my soul I live here in the shadows of the darkness trying to escape but I can't there's no way out shadows casted upon me they follow me everywhere all my life i've lived here and will remain for an eternity I despise this place a place without hopes or dreams but I am not alone there are others who too live in these shadows we try to live a life of our own but people won't accept us for what we are because we are different because we are not like them them they are the ones who have done this to us the ones that everyone thinks we are like but we're not they are the ones who have corrupted our lives who have made it harder for us to be ourselves and I wish we could make htem pay but we can't for they were born first all I want is a chance a chance for me to be free and be my own person because that is what I am I am not one of them I live in the shadows of the darkness looking for a way to escape surviving as the days go by I have found my soul someday I will prove myself then I shall be able to leave these horrid shadows of the darkness forever